Sexual Exploration and Young Kids

2014-08-08 19:49:35 CPCC Blogging Team

While most parents of infants and toddlers think that they do not have to worry about their child’s sexual development for a long time, that is not the case. Sexual development begins in the very first years of a child’s life. Young children develop a physical and emotional foundation for sexuality in many subtle ways as they grow. Children hit important milestone in how they recognize, experience, and feel about their bodies, as well as forming attachments to others at a very young age.

Knowing and understanding how your children learn and grown can help with fostering their emotional and physical health.

It is perfectly normal for infants and toddlers to touch their genitals during a diaper change, or for boys to have frequent erections. By not responding with anger, surprise, or disapproving words in these situations, you are teaching your child that curiosity about their body is a normal part of life. By age 2 or 3, children start to develop a sense of gender identity. They start to identify themselves as either male or female, and can tell the differences between the genders.

Children ages 3 to 5 have a stronger sense of being a boy or girl, and regularly continue to explore their bodies. Never scold a child in this age group for touching themselves, since it will prompt a sense of guilt and shame. Explain to them that that type of touching should only be done in private. Children in this age group are also more curious about other bodies, and playing doctor is a normal way they discover about another person. It is important to not overreact if you find your child playing doctor with a child around the same age. Instead, calmly ask your child to play with a different toy in a different area. Keep in mind that this is also a clue that your child is curious about the body, and to look into age appropriate material to teach them about the body. 

Children ages 6 to 10 are more interested in pregnancy, gender roles, and birth. Make sure to initiate some age appropriate questions if your child is not already asking about sex. If they do not get reliable information from you, they will turn to the media and their peers, which may not be reliable sources of information.

For more information about young children and their sexuality, contact the Community Presbyterian Counseling Center in San Ramon. 

Children and Teens