Getting Through the Loss of Your Spouse

2014-08-29 21:33:42 CPCC Blogging Team

As someone you see every day, and your partner for all of your life activities, the bond you have with your spouse is one of the strongest that you will ever have in your life. When your spouse dies, it can be one of darkest times of your life. We want you to heal and be able to move forward. Here are a few things to keep in mind about when faced with this season of grief and transition:

• Allow yourself time to mourn. Although you may want to seem strong to those around you, mourning is a natural part of the grieving process. Do not be ashamed! It allows you to express your feelings and thoughts to help you heal from the death of your spouse.
• Talk about your thoughts and feelings. Bottling up your emotions can lead to depression. Instead, talk about how you are feeling during this time! By remembering the amazing person that your spouse was, and all the reasons you loved them, you will be better able to heal.
• Do not ignore your emotions. You will feel many different emotions during the time that your spouse passes away. Listen to these emotions, and let yourself feel them even if they are confusing! Talking them through can help you understand what you are feeling, and can help you find ways to cope.  A counselor can give you tools on how to acknowledge and name your emotions and communicate them well.
• Find a support system. You cannot deal with the death of your spouse alone. Talk to people! Whether it is your friends, family, or a support group, talking to someone about your loss is one of the most important parts of the grieving process. It is important to recognize that your support system cares deeply for you, and wants to help you through this time as much as humanly possible!

Grief work is necessary in order to recreate a new life that includes the memories of the person you lost while not being suffocated or stuck by change that their death has created.  CPCC has groups and individual therapy that can support those who are seeking to begin or continue grief work.  Grief work may be immediately after a death, but often it is months or years later when an individual has time to process the meaning and is seeking to make sense of life after their spouses death.  

For more information about dealing with the grief of your spouse, or for information on support groups that can help you during this time, contact Community Presbyterian Counseling Center in San Ramon, California.  

Grief