Mental Health, Teens and Academics

Teenagers are faced with such intense challenges. They are changing into adults physically, becoming more independent year by year, and the expectations on them continue to grow as they do. It’s completely normal for teens to start becoming their own person and to be expected to be responsible for their lives, but at times the academic expectations can be very high, especially in the San Ramon valley. Some teens feel the pressure to be the absolute best at everything, even if it means ignoring their health or friendships. This kind of pressure often leaves little room for even basic needs or mental health support.

This pressure to achieve can be internal or external; sometimes it looks like a hard working teenager with perfectionistic tendencies, and sometimes it looks like a kid who procrastinates and doesn’t do their best due to the insurmountable expectations. It can trigger a teen to appear angry more frequently, often due to it being the leading emotion that is exhibited when a teen is depressed or anxious. Noticing that your child is under academic pressure is one part of the story but helping them when they’re so overwhelmed can feel like an entirely different thing altogether.

Teens are human being with a basic need to feel worthy and valued. When the only ability to fill that void is found in academics, it can feel overwhelming and stressful. These kids need to be told that they are valuable, loved, and that they matter even if they get a bad grade or don’t do their best. Sometimes parents can view this as not encouraging their kid to try harder and allowing them to slack off, but often it can be the opposite. Having a baseline knowledge that you’re loved no matter the outcome can allow teens to work their hardest because the intense stress and pressure has lifted a little bit.

When teens are under academic pressure, it is important that they are meeting their physical needs of food, adequate sleep, and some time to relax and decompress. They also benefit from having pockets of time to do things that bring them joy (youth group, sports, art) and connect with their social outlets to the extent that is helpful. There are exceptions to every rule, and sometimes midterms or finals involve a few days where things are not ideal, but the hope is that those exceptions are not their baseline. When they are able to live a full life, it can allow them to step back from school and see academics as a part of their life, but not the totality of who they are and their future.