Setting Healthy Limits

I am sure you have heard the adage “practice healthy work boundaries,” or “you need a healthy work-life balance.” But what does that mean? And it is great in theory but can be very hard to put into practice due to a variety of reasons. I hope the following can help give some ways and address the reasons how to get around resistance to healthy work boundaries.

What do we mean by healthy work boundaries? This usually entails setting limits around how much time, energy, or cognitive attention you give to your work each day or week. Unhealthy work boundaries or “work like balance” are typically seen if you have: a spouse saying they need more of your time, very little energy, or time to do other things you enjoy or feeling like you’re burning out by running on fumes.

Tips for setting work boundaries

Define your working hours: Decide on the specific times during which you will work and stick to them as much as possible. Communicate these hours to your colleagues and clients, so they know when they can expect to hear from you.

Establish a routine: Create a consistent schedule for your workday, including time for breaks and other activities that are important to you. This can help you maintain a healthy work-life balance and avoid overworking.

Set clear expectations: Let your colleagues and clients know what they can expect from you in terms of response time, availability, and workload. Be honest about what you can and can't handle, and don't be afraid to say no when necessary.

Addressing resistance to boundaries

Now to address how to address resistance to those above-mentioned limits. Often people will feel either guilt, fear, or frozen when the thought of taking care of themselves over others or a job comes up. You need to let go of these feelings to place the priorities in the right place. You can let go of these through journaling topics like “what would my life look like with X feeling?” or visualizations where you imagine the feeling as an object and watch yourself repeatedly give it away to God or a higher power. You can also ask yourself if you think you deserve good self-care and limits, are you afraid of happening if you set those limits, and how realistic is it that something bad will happen that is worse than you burning out. Replacing the fear of setting boundaries with the fear of burning out is not really the best answer either. If you still struggle with setting limits, find a good counselor or life coach near you that has experience in this topic. Maybe it’s the messages you heard growing up like “to be not working is to be lazy,” or “if you don’t do it, no one will.” Ask yourself if you want to be controlled by these lessons of the past. Most people do not, you can have freedom in your life as well. I hope this has been helpful.  Keep trying, and it is okay if you do not get the hang of it right away, practice makes perfect in any new habit building, along with self-compassion in trying something new.