College, The New Peer Pressure?

2015-11-13 00:50:41 Danielle Fitch

Stress, panic attacks, sleepless nights, break downs- these are just a few of the things coming in the door with the high school students I see in my practice. I’ve noticed a trend in the majority of the teenagers I see in therapy that they are all getting burned out by homework, extra curricular activities, and the like.

Most of the teen’s I talk to are involved in not one, but several activities, from music lessons, sports, leadership, volunteering and more. While these aren’t bad things to be involved in, the majority of high school students are all quickly burning out. It seems that stress of “What my college application looks like” has been added to the laundry list peer pressures that our teens face . I spent the last couple weeks talking with a range of teens and I was curious about what they were passionate about, what activities they get involved with because it was something they simply liked to do. I was shocked to hear from the majority of these teens that thinking about what they were passionate about was not something they had time for these days. So how do we approach this?

If the issue was drinking or drugs we would all be in consensus that these are harmful things and need to be eradicated from their life. But what do we do when our teens are burning out, struggling with panic attacks and anxiety, not sleeping, feeling worthless and helpless, all because they’re afraid they don’t “measure up” on a college resume? Wanting to get into a good college is an admirable ambition and one that should be supported and encouraged by parents and teachers; but what do we do if it is coming at the cost of their sanity?

Talking with these students, it came down to a few things:

• Empathy and understanding for the pressure they are under and the amount of work they have
• Helping them find balance between their responsibilities and having down time
• And most importantly, taking the time to encourage them in their individual passions and talents.

So many of the high school students I see are craving someone to take the time to sit down with them, ask them what they are passionate about, and help develop their talents in it. Don’t be afraid to ask your teenager what they enjoy doing, not what they think will look good on a resume, but what things they find joy in. Then allow them to make time for it!

Showing your teen that you not only encourage them to have a good education and to be responsible, but that you also encourage them to discover their unique passions and talents will give them a sense of being believed in and supported, and it gives them the drive to work hard in all areas. Be their champion not just in what looks good for college, but what feeds their soul.

Parenting, Children and Teens, Mental Health, Anxiety