Five Grounding Techniques for Ten and Unders

As we become more aware of the efficacy of early intervention in preventing and mitigating mental health challenges, it is more important now than ever to equip your children with coping tools for when they are struggling. Although this can feel like a daunting task, it is possible to pursue this quest in bite-sized pieces so as not to overwhelm yourselves or your children. In addition to teaching basics such as feeling awareness and identification, accessible grounding techniques can steadily increase their sense of agency and distress tolerance. 

Below are five simple techniques your children can use when they are feeling elevated. It is recommended that you teach your children these tools when you are both feeling calm and connected, practicing them regularly (perhaps as a bedtime or morning routine) so they can become muscle memory.

  1. Rocks and Socks: This technique is a paired down version of progressive muscle relaxation. In this exercise, instruct your child to take a comfortable seat and breathe in through their nose, out through their mouth. Then, they will squeeze their fists as tight as possible for ten seconds straight, making them into “rocks.” After ten seconds, they should release their fists and make them as limp as possible, turning them into “socks.” They should repeat this alternation of flexing and relaxing five to ten times as needed.

  2. Roller Coaster Fingers: In this exercise, your child should sit or stand with their non-dominant hand in front of their face, fingers spread wide. With the pointer finger of their dominant hand, they should trace the fingers of their nondominant hand as they breathe. For example, starting at the thumb, your child will trace down and up to the tip of the pointer finger while breathing in. Next, they will breathe out as they trace down and up their middle finger, and so forth.

  3. Animal Breathing: This exercise involves mindful breathing in the style of your child’s animal of choice. Including hand movements with these breathing techniques will make them more fun and easier for your child to remember, thus increasing the likelihood they will resort to them in times of stress. A few examples include:

    • Snake Breathing: Your child will breathe in through their nose and breathe out in a slow and defined “hiss,” preferably while moving their hands in a snake-like fashion. 

    • Lion Breathing: This technique involves breathing in through your nose and breathing out with a whispered “roar” sound, preferably while holding their hands up like claws.

    • Sloth Breathing: This technique involves breathing in and out through one’s nose and mouth respectively as slowly as possible, much like a sloth. While doing so, they can clasp their hands together and rock them slowly from side to side, as though they are hanging from a tree.

  4. Pillow Press: This technique will require a pillow and a steady wall. Your child will press the pillow at shoulder height against a wall as hard as they can for ten to fifteen seconds, and then release. They should repeat this alternation five to ten times as needed.

  5. Figure Eight Breaths: This technique requires your child to trace a large figure eight in the air as they breathe in, and again as they breathe out. Your child can even alternate between slow and fast, small and large figure eights, noticing how their body and brain react to the changes.

Hopefully you will find these tools useful as you prepare your child for emotional fortitude and resilience. With enough practice, these techniques can become second nature in helping your children not only to regulate big emotions, but to thrive in the midst of them.

Tori Agawa

Marriage and family therapy trainee supervised by Brent Robery, LMFT 100423.

https://www.cpccounseling.com/bio-tori-agawa
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