Surviving the Election Season (and still liking your friends and family)
2016-10-28 03:49:07 Mackenzie Sodestrom
2016 has been a tumultuous year of politics -- polls have revealed low approval ratings of both major party candidates and high anxieties from American voters about the outcome of the election. Public political discourse reveals the deeply partisan nature of our country. These divided conversations are echoed in social media, seeming to spread more fear and hate than hope and goodwill. Election day is less than two weeks away, and many are eager to put this season behind them. It is unlikely, however, that the cracks that have surfaced in this season will be buried with election outcomes.
It is quite easy to villainize others who do not share our same political convictions. On more than one occasion, I have come across political posts from friends on my social media feeds that have made my jaw drop. It is tempting to judge others by the headlines they post, the arguments that are made, or the candidate they support. But these people with whom we disagree are not monsters that live on the other side of a screen, they are friends and family and people who love you. You will probably share holiday tables with the same people that may find your own political posts appalling. So how can we survive?
Take the conversations offline. I have yet to see anyone converted to any ideology through Facebook posts, debates, or article swapping. When possible, engage in these conversations face to face. We miss a lot of non-verbals when we communicate only electronically!
In any heated conversation, it’s important to slow down and get curious. Enter the discussion as a conversation, not a debate or a monologue. If your mind is made up entering the discussion, how can you expect openness from others? Aim to understand what the other person is saying, especially if it is different than what you believe. Truly listen to their point of view, concerns, hopes, and values rather than preparing your own rebuttal. Listen for the emotional subtext below the words, rather than getting tangled in the details of the content. For instance, “I can see that safety and security are important values for you, which really drives your passion around ___”.
Set boundaries and call time outs. If tensions rise and argumentativeness runs the show, call a timeout. If the conversation becomes a heated debate, it may be best to revisit the conversation when both parties can enter more calmly. If conversations continually get out of hand, consider setting boundaries around where and when these conversations should take place -- perhaps not at Thanksgiving dinner!
Immerse yourself in different news sources. Being well read from a variety of viewpoints not only helps you become more informed, it also helps you understand and be challenged by other points of view. Humility and teachability require openness to learn from others.
Positively reframe your context. Rather than expecting the worst and demonizing the other, view your interactions as a chance to be sharpened, to learn, to form bridges instead of burn them. How boring and narrow minded we become if we only rub shoulders with people who share our views.
Practice generous grace. Disagreements give us great opportunities to practice the art of hospitality toward others. Assume the best intentions of the other. Hear the emotional subtext beyond the words. Extend the same curiosity and openness that you hope to receive about areas where you are passionate. “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” -1 Peter 4:8
Women, Men, Mental Health, Conflict