Present Over Perfect

2016-10-15 04:12:17 Katie Navarra

What is your “go to” way of living your life?

Present or Perfect?

These are two simple words with depth and meaning beyond face value. The words PRESENT and PERFECT can be significant in our day-to-day lives and can have a dramatic impact on the way we feel, behave, act, and live. They can affect the way we parent, work, go to school, interact with friends and strangers, our faith, and our inner thoughts as well.

What is PRESENT?

With a little research you will find that the word “present” cannot even be defined in the dictionary to mean what I hope to relay in this post. Most often “present” is referred to as “being somewhere” or “giving an actual present.” Both of these definitions have to do with doing something or being something. Truly, the way “present” should be defined in this context is words such as: “here and now” “fully alive” “in the moment” “active” “meaningful experience” “aware.” How can we move towards these words defining our day-to-day lives? Start by asking yourself these 3 questions:

• Am I present in my day-to-day life?

• What area of my life do I need to start being more present?

• What is getting in the way of me being present?

If you live in 2016, there is most likely a part of your life where you can start to be more present. It is not something to be worked on, obtained, mastered, or completed, but something to simply bring into your awareness and think about. Being present will allow you to cherish the day no matter the circumstances, appreciate the people around you, and help alleviate the pressures that lead to discomfort in your thoughts and feelings. Try it! See what happens.

What is PERFECT?

This is where most of us seem to land. Well, let me say that differently, we don’t land there but we strive and strive and strive for it. We work so hard, and we don’t rest until we obtain perfect…but wait, it is unattainable. So what does that lead to? Never resting. A quick search of the definition of perfect leads to words like “complete, absolute, lacking in nothing, no faults, no defects.” If we look in the mirror though, we can be reminded of the fact we are human and therefore perfection is not attainable here on this earth. Yet we still go for it!

Our pushing to be perfect is leaving us burnt out, exhausted, sleepless, not to mention, constantly afraid of others opinions, never feeling “good enough,” walking around with a fear of letting others down, letting ourselves down…I could go on and on, but we all know what those strivings for perfection leave each of us with.

Now ask yourself these 3 questions:

• What pushes you to strive for perfect?

• What would it be like to step back from our search for perfection?

• How can I work on being “less perfect”?

The hardest part of this journey to Present over Perfect is the day-to-day habits we have created in our lives where we push for perfection. Habits can be broken, we can change, it will take time, and we can seek presence versus perfection. Habits must be broken.

If you are finding there are deeply rooted beliefs about yourself or heartache or tough memories preventing you from this transition to being present, talk to one of our therapists at the counseling center. They will journey with you to find ways to free yourself from the constant striving of perfection.

For more information a good book resource is “Present over Perfect” by Shauna Niequist.

Couples, Women, Men, Mental Health, Gratitude, Anxiety, Depression, Therapy