How the 4 Parenting Styles bring about Teens

Have you heard there are 4 parenting styles? Did you know which type you used can determine what type of teenager you get? There is a great correlation between the types of parenting and how your teen, and eventually adult child, may turn out. The concept of four parenting styles was developed by Diana Baumrind, a developmental psychologist, in the 1960s through her research on parenting practices and their effects on child development. Baumrind identified and described four main parenting styles: authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and neglectful. 

Most parents will have one category that they gravitate towards, or might vary between types based on energy level, age of children, stress levels, etc. Authoritarian is “you do what I say when I say it, no questions asked.” Authoritative is “These are the rules and the consequences and this is why we’re doing it, one of the reasons is we love you.” Permissive is “you can have ice cream for dinner, sure. You can play video games longer since you’re upset about stopping. You can make the rules because I’m tired.” And Neglectful is “I don’t know where my child is and they can take care of themselves.” 

Now parents don’t feel too terrible if some of these have sounded like you sometimes, no parent is perfect, that’s impossible. Give yourself some compassion and grace. 

Authoritarian parenting, according to Baumrind, will bring about rebellious teenagers, this is because they were never able to express dissent and bottled up their anger. Authoritative parenting creates boundaries even when it upsets but has the higher chance of creating healthy teens and adults. Permissive parenting creates teens that have no boundaries for themselves or others and may end up breaking laws and not knowing consequences about their bodies or moderation. Neglectful parenting can create children that are forced to grow up too quickly into adulthood as a necessary means for taking care of themselves, they often are not in touch with their emotions and can have difficulty with empathy. 

If you are still reading this then you may have guessed that Authoritative parenting style is the one to try to emulate. Remember that children need boundaries, and do better with them (even if they would disagree or argue otherwise). Immediate and formerly disclosed consequences after 0-1 warnings is appropriate and essential. If you don’t follow up on the consequences then you are slipping into permissive parenting. 

If you have trouble moving into or staying in Authoritative parenting, you are not alone and there is help. Seek out professional guidance or read up on the many books on the subject. Reach out if needed.