Sex addiction results in betrayal, pain, and broken trust. It hurts the individual who struggle with the addiction; it hurts their partner; and it hurts their marriage. Many couples wonder if their relationship has been damaged beyond repair. They wonder if it is worth trying to work on it or if it wouldn’t be easier to “throw in the towel” and start over with someone new. They wonder if there is hope.
Not everyone succeeds in saving their marriage, but those who do often report several years after disclosure that their relationship is BETTER than it ever was. Couples say things like:
“We were never this honest or this intimate before. There used to be a lot of secretiveness and separateness in our relationship, but now we are connected and open with each other.”
“Since he has been in recovery, he is a different man. He is kinder and more engaged with the family. I have come to know that I can trust him.”
“Ever since this all blew up she has become a stronger, kinder woman. She seems to be at peace with herself. I love and admire her so much!”
“While I am not glad for the pain this all has caused, I’m glad for what has happened in our marriage. After everything blew up, we were forced to make some changes that we wouldn’t have otherwise made.
What is the difference between the couples who end their marriages and the couples who develop more intimate and satisfying marriages when sex addiction is involved? The couples whose marriages become better both commit to a healing journey of recovery. He commits to his recover, she commits to her recovery, and they commit to recovery as a couple. They use the upheaval that seems to have destroyed their relationship as an opportunity to start again at ground zero and build a new and improved marriage.
To learn more about how marriages can recover and find hope in the aftermath of sexual addiction, please come to hear Dr. Doug Weiss, Christian Therapist and author, speak at Community Presbyterian Church on April 18, 2015 from 7 to 9 pm. His topic will be Healing Hearts: Mending the Sexually Addicted Relationship. For more information see our Healing Hearts page.