Sexual Recovery Blog

I Think My Partner May Be a Sex Addict...Now What?

Posted by Ginny Mosby on

She stood there, frozen in time, holding that tiny piece of register tape in her hand, staring. The world melted around her. Her heart was pounding and head felt like it was going to explode. She felt like someone had just sucker-punched her. “Now what?” she thought.  

Susan had just discovered a receipt that confirmed all her worst fears; her husband had been frequenting strip clubs when he said he was attending late-night business dinners with clients. This discovery shattered everything she thought she knew about her husband, their marriage, their family and their life. In one moment, Susan was propelled into the first phase of recovery as the partner of someone with compulsive sexual behaviors:  Shock, Crisis and Information Gathering which involves:

  • Acute stress expressed through difficulty sleeping, eating, and focusing at work and at home
  • Complete loss of a sense of self and ability to trust her own judgement
  • Mind-numbing preoccupation with and rumination about the discovery
  • Frenzied attempts to search for more details and information

Susan will want to know that her husband is committed to the relationship but most importantly committed to his own recovery. But first, and foremost, Susan needs to get help for the trauma she has just experienced. There are 3 things she can do right away to begin her recovery journey:

  • Attend either a COSA or S-ANON 12-step meeting in her area
  • Get into either individual or group therapy, or both
  • Read material pertaining to sex addiction

If you identify with this scenario and need help, contact us for more information about LifeStar Sex Addiction Recovery Program for sex addicts and their partners. There is hope for healing and freedom from sex addiction!

Information adapted from Intimate Treason by Cara Tripodi

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