Being vulnerable is not something we allow ourselves to do often. This is mostly due to the fact that many of us are given messages about what this looks like or the dangers of being vulnerable from a young age. Many feel that being vulnerable is just a sign of weakness. They feel that showing your vulnerability is not good because showing this side shows a loss of control and a feeling of powerlessness. Many people like to focus on the things that building these walls around vulnerability can avoid such as possible hurt feelings, pain, and sadness. However, no one ever discusses the things we are missing out on by not letting our guards down and changing our outlook on the positive power that showing vulnerability has. Below are just a few things that can be negatively impacted when showing a lack of vulnerability:
Our ability to feel joy
- Our ability to feel love
- Having to feel like a perfectionist
- Unrealistic expectations
- Not having the options to enjoy the small moments
- Higher feelings of anxiety and stress
- Feelings of depression
- Low self-esteem and pressure to perform
Many of the favorite or life changing moments people experience are the things that happened on a whim or by mistake. When our walls are down we are able to show our true emotions and connect deeply with those around us. When we are not worried about how others will perceive us or criticize us, we are able to make genuine connections. When we are able to release control for the things around us we can begin to let our walls down and be vulnerable. It is in this state we are able to be present and connect with others and ourselves in a genuine way and in our true form.
Resources: Brown Brené. Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. Penguin Books Ltd, 2015.
This blog was written by Natasha Griffin, Trainee. Natasha is supervised by Danielle Fitch LMFT #94672