What you need to know about creating boundaries that will actually work.
Do you have people in your life who take just a little too much from you? If you’re human, you probably answered yes. All too often we feel stuck in draining relationships where we feel unsure of how to take care of ourselves.
As a result, it’s important that we all learn to create healthy boundaries in our relationships. With these limits, it’s easier to preserve a relationship without letting yourself be walked over. To help you put the right boundaries in place, here are a few tips.
- Figure Out How You Feel: You can’t articulate your boundaries until you figure out where to set them. Identify what makes you feel uncomfortable, sad, angry, or resentful by observing how different people, comments, and situations make you feel. Once you discern what is raising red flags in these areas, you know where you need to set up limits.
- Don’t Be Shy: Articulating your boundaries can be difficult. To avoid hurt or ambiguity in the future, it’s important to clearly express your feelings with direct statements like, “It makes me feel uncomfortable when you say that.”
- Grow Into It: If you’ve never set up boundaries before, it can feel overwhelming to push a relationship back to where
you’re cared forand comfortable. You don’t have to do it all at once! Start by saying no to smallstuff, and work your way up.
Setting boundaries without harming your relationships requires a delicate touch. If you’d like to talk with someone about how, exactly, to create healthy limits in your life, contact the Community Presbyterian Counseling Center in San Ramon, California. We understand that you genuinely care about the people in your life but also need to protect yourself, and we can help you find the balance you need to preserve your relationships and your mental health.