How To: Talk To Your Kid About Sex
Avoiding The Awkwardness During “The Talk”
It is the subject of many comedic scenes on today’s sitcoms. The dad awkwardly comes into his daughter’s room. He is clearly nervous. He sits on the edge of her bed and says, “Honey, what do you know about the birds and the bees?”
Broaching the subject of sex with your kids does not have to be uncomfortable for everyone involved, though. Use these tips to make the best of the conversation.
- Underscore Love: So much of what we teach our kids about sex is centered on fear. Overcome that by emphasizing what a crucial role love plays in the act. Help your child understand the intense feeling of love and how sex without that is empty.
- Avoid “Don’t”: Try to talk to your children about sex in a way that does not primarily utilize the word don’t (e.g. don’t have sex, don’t get carried away, and don’t get pregnant). Instead, help your child associate sex with positivity, so that he or she will know to treasure the act at the right time with the right person, not run away from it.
- Be Genuine: Talking with your child about sex will feel vulnerable. That is okay. Let yourself open up to your child so that he or she can come to you with questions and concerns.
- Listen: The conversations you have with your child about sex should not consist of you offering a monologue, then getting up and leaving the room. Ask questions, and then listen. Your child’s questions about sex may be very different than you expect, and you can best meet him or her where he or she is at by listening well.
You do not have to figure out how to have “the talk” alone. For guidance so you can best guide your children, contact the Community Presbyterian Counseling Center in San Ramon, California. We are here to help you help your family.