Last week we discussed Gottman’s Four Horsemen the Apocalypse. Hopefully you are beginning to notice which horsemen you tend to use. As you grow in your self-awareness, you can begin to catch yourself and instead choose to communicate differently. Here is what Gottman has found to be the...
Marital researcher John Gottman has spent years identifying the strengths and downfalls of marriages. With over 40 years of research under his belt, he can predict with more than 90% accuracy whether a couple will stay together or get divorced. One of the predicting factors of divorce is the...
Looking for ways to get your kids connected this summer? We have a few great group offerings for kids & teens at the counseling center. Hawk Talk Girls & Sex Limited space is available in all groups, sign up today! Call CPCC at 925.820.1467 to secure your spot.
I have recently been reading The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk, MD., a book exploring the ways in which our brains, minds, and bodies both hold, and in turn, can heal trauma. Trauma may feel like a scary therapy buzzword, and it becomes tempting to push it away from...
Many people aren’t taught what boundaries are or how to properly set them. Just like any new skill, learning to set boundaries can feel clumsy and awkward at first. As you learn how to set boundaries, you may run into some common myths:1. Setting boundaries is mean. I hear this...
All relationships can experience gridlock when talking about a difficult topic. Relationships, whether it be a couple, friendship, parent-child, or family system, tend to have a familiar dance that plays out in communication and conflict. For example, a common dance is the pursue-retreat...
If you’re like most people, your New Year's resolutions have already fallen to the wayside and you have likely fallen out of the habit of changes you had hoped to make. Creating healthy, sustainable changes is not impossible, you may just need a new strategy. Perhaps you’ve...
I recently read Peggy Orenstein’s book Girls & Sex then attended a workshop she hosted for Bay Area parents about the changing landscape of adolescent female sexuality. (Side note: This is exactly the type of hot pink, bold front cover books that therapists read on airplanes...
A recent study by Common Sense Media surveyed the attitudes, concerns, and behaviors of parents’ media use. Many parents express concern about their children’s use of media, in how it affects their sleep, effects of social media, too much time online, etc. Parents, it turns out...
In our affluent area, it's not uncommon to hear parents lamenting of their children's materialism but unsure of how to change it. With the constant barrage of ads, marketing, and social media, we fight an uphill battle. Adults get easily sucked into "more, more, more" and the upward comparison...
